Injury report, "Soriano scratched with fractured finger"

I was just catching up on my Cub reading and was a bit concerned about Soriano's finger fracture, but it turns out he'll be back in less than a week. In the article they also point out a few other injuries. A sore shoulder's nothing out of the ordinary, an irregular heartbeat could be some serious stuff, but being punched in the face and a twisted testicle?!
Lord help the Cubs...

[I don't think this post needs a picture...]